caffeine-induced insomnia.


the love of God in us is a love that gives without expecting returns.


the perils of being too comfortable as a single, solitary unit independent of the external world and its influences.
and yet, its perks entice.


Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.
Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
There is no fear in love.
But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.
The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
- 1 John 4: 7-8 and 18 -


judging by the rules, i should be careful as well.


How, why, when he recognized no one else with any consistency, did Clive recognize Deborah? There are clearly many sorts of memory, and emotional memory is one of the deepest and least understood.

Neal J. Cohen has written about the famous experiment of Edouard Claparede, a Swiss physician, in 1911:

"Upon shaking hands with a patient with Korsakoff syndrome (the condition which caused my patient Jimmie's severe amnesia), Claparede pricked her finger with a pin hidden in his hand. Subsequently, whenever he again attempted to shake the patient's hand, she promptly withdrew it. When he questioned her about this behavior, she replied, "Isn't it allowed to withdraw one's hand?" and "Perhaps there is a pin hidden in your hand," and finally, "Sometimes pins are hidden in hands." Thus the patient learned the appropriate response based on previous experience, but she never seemed to attribute her behavior to the personal memory of some previously experienced event."
- Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain, Oliver Sacks -


how excruciating, an inner implosion.
an escape so desperately pursued, but Sentiment and Guilt weigh me down like chains of steel.
i mutter "finished", i will disengagement.
but they scorn from a distance, leaving me heavy and distracted.
concentrate, i cannot.
for somewhere inside me, the command was issued and executed: its scattering minions ensuring that i am at an utmost low.


i'm careless, i believe
this brings tears to my eyes.

perfection at 5:08 PM